Tuesday 30 April 2013

Standing Ground

Ok. Breathe. Wow, someone should have told me how hard this would be. I want things to get better for my son. I want him to make moves to get the help he needs. Spinning and spinning, that's what it feels like, a ride in a carnival, you are just spinning and spinning and want desperately to get off. My son will never choose to help himself if he thinks I will take him back home anyways. I have to be a hard-ass now. I need to make it very clear that I WILL NOT take him home unless he makes move to get help for himself. Period. Sounds easier than it is in this situation. I have already tried this once before, back in January. Told him he couldn't come home unless.Well, he spent 10 days on the street in -30 weather, lost 45 pounds and was close to death in my opinion, don't think he would have made it another week. I cannot survive that again. So, here it goes. I pray he tries to get help. I believe in him. Now, to take care of me.
Photo credit: recovery and hope Facebook page


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1 comment:

  1. Anonymous2 May 2013 at 23:27

    Well said, Trish. I was in contact for a long while with the mother of an alcoholic son (he was in his early 20's). She too did what you did - didn't take him back when he went to jail, or was out drunk again, or was really starting to fall apart. He didn't get to the point your son did (yikes), but was so torn apart about it. I told her what you just said so well - it's not up to anyone else other than the addict / alcoholic to get the help they need. The illness is one that tells us that we have no illness, and that is how and why we get so far down in the spiral and down the scale that we do. Ego, pride, selfishness, etc...all those things keep us down in the dirt. It's only when the pain is too much that we come for help.

    It's nearly impossible for me to understand what it's like to be you in this. To be a parent of an addict. I have two kids (3 and 5) that I already worry about. Bad genes, ha ha. I am learning through working with parents of addicts and alcoholics and your post (and blog) is very helpful to me...not only to see how it's like on the other side of the glass, but how to carry through ones' self with dignity and respect. And you seem to be doing that.

    Pray that he gets help and yes, take care of you. You need to care for yourself.

    Blessings,
    Paul

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