I heard this director of pramming telling this room full of hopeful parents and their hopeful recovering young addicts that over 80%of youth who stay connected to the program after transitioning will remain clean and sober. Wow!!! I could feel this feeling of ️hope restored throughout the room. That sounds amazing. I'm sitting in my chair, starting to clench my fists, as I feel that maybe I am the only person here who doesn't live in this fantasy world he is talking about. Just two short years ago my watched my own 16 year old come home and relapse after 11 days, hard. He relapsed along side about a dozen other boys from his program, some who transitioned (completed the 6 month residential treatment) some who did not. From that program I think I know of 2 -3 boys who actually stayed sober in recovery (out of aprox 33).
So when I decided to really listen to what was being said, REALLY LISTEN, I heard something that made a bit more sense.,
That 80% of sober youth in recovery he spoke about, that is NOT 80% of youth who walk in the door, or 80% of youth who work the program, or even 80% of youth who complete the program and transition, it is 80% of the ones who complete, transition AND go back regularly for back in touch. For a realistic picture, I sure would like to know what percentage of kids who go for treatment fall into that category, because my guess, from a parent who has personally been through this program 3 times and s few more with close personal friends, I'm guessing it is maybe 5%. I'm guessing.
So let's now talk about what addictions kids go to treatment for and how this affects who is most likely to recover.
If you have a teen who goes to rehab for a pot smoking addiction why is it more likely they will recover and stay sober? Well, let's start with What is addiction? Any behaviour that causes negative consequences in our life and we continue anyways. Is pot an actual addiction? ABSOLUTELY!!!! Should youth go to rehab when they are only smoking pot? Well, let's ask these questions; are they stealing money to support their habit? Going to school? Disrespecting curfews or even couch surfing? Lost motivation for everything except hanging with friends or playing video games or just "chilling
? Smoking pot IS an addiction and trust me, if it is at this point where they can't go to school or be around people without being high, they need help. Can some people smoke pot their whole life and never need help ? ABSOLUTELY!! But this is not everyone, are there negative consequences that are impacting their life due to smoking pot? That is the question.
So, when a youth is smoking pot, probably stealing $5-10-20 bucks from moms purse, maybe daily, stealing tools from dad to make homemade pipes, maybe skipping school, maybe fighting with anyone who gets in their way of smoking pot, losing ambition for anything, we see there is s problem that needs to be dealt with. If they go to rehab and realize this addiction now, they see how pot is interfering with their life and they can stop, remain sober. They already know how dangerous other, more serious drugs are and they now know that they cant even use the seemingly most harmless one, they have a damn good chance, in my opinion.
Now let's take a kid with a serious addiction to multiple drugs, maybe started with pot, and now will use LSD or Molly periodically but has a REAL addiction to crack or speed or even opiates. This kid is needing money for their drug, now they have progressed from needing the $20 each day to maybe needing $200/day or more :( Not many kids are going to be able to steal that amount of money from moms purse! So they start stealing stuff in the house that can be sold, or stealing from stores, or more dangerously, dealers. Now when someone gets in their way of using their drug, they don't just get mad, they get violent. They have already dropped out of school. This has become serious, and most often criminal behaviour is a serious problem. If we take this kid and get them to rehab, can they stop using? Yup!! But....what often happens is this:when they get out, if they make it that long, smoking pot is NOTHING for them! Their addiction was SO much worse, even their parents can see that! So smoking pot seems so ok. At first. This is where the term "gateway drug" comes into play. They need money for their habit, often getting lazy and it remaining inconsistent to their schedules and recovery. This person has a SERIOUS ADDICTION and NEEDS consistency to stay off their most serios drug of choice. Now what? They slip. and before you can even realize what has happened, they are right back where they started, and so are you!
So what do we need in recovery?
No using of drugs ! ANY drugs! No matter what!
A plan! A detailed plan of what their day looks like, supports if they get into trouble, what activities they can do if bored, this plan often needs to be in writing!
They need support, either through rehab, meetings, groups or online chat rooms, or maybe all of the above! They NEED TO BE HONEST!! They need to feel safe enough to be honest with people close to them.
They need to be consistent! Daily structure needs to be consistent!
They need to be determined and to find something they are passionate about, they need to figure out who they are and what they want in their lives. They need faith, a lot of faith, and so do we!!!
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