Getting through the pain

Who ever said pretending is easy? When you carry around large amounts of pain inside your heart you have to do a bit of pretending to kick start your recovery.
I read this quote and I have to agree "Find a place inside where there is joy, and the joy will burn out the pain," ~Joseph Campbell.
I am looking for my joy. Actually, it's all around me; children everywhere, my 10 year olds bear hugs and goodnight prayers, my daughters silly ways and my husband walking in the door with flowers, to list a few. Why then does the pain seem to sit on top of it all? Why does this struggle have to hurt so much? Why can't my addict just get it and get well? Why can't he think of us and our pain? These are all questions for which I have no real answers. In the beginning of recovery during turmoil it isn't today, it is one hour at a time, sometimes it's minute by minute. We will take control of our lives and our hearts again, will we find our joy.
"Finding gifts and gladness in every situation does not mean disregarding pain, sorrow or suffering. It means that you CHOOSE to see the gift in every situation, and BELIEVE its always there."
Sark~Glad, no matter what