"No person, place, or thing has any power over us. We are the only thinkers in our minds."
Louise L. Hay~Heart Thoughts.
This is daily practice that will help us to keep control of our own thoughts, our own feelings and stop taking responsibility for the thoughts & feelings of others. We can only take control of our own life. As parents of addicts we must realize this. We must learn to let go. As brutally hard as it is, we must let our addicts take responsibility for themselves.
Through all of what my son has been through this past two years, everything that has not worked for him, there is only one thing that he has brought to each of these places of help, himself! The change MUST be within him. There is nothing else that I can do to help him, he must help himself.
This is my homework:
When thoughts of pain and hurt and worry enter my mind I will acknowledge those feelings briefly, then I will bless my son with love and then I will release the feelings of pain and move on.
The picture is of new spring growth, still buried within much of the old year's leftovers, this is reflective of my today; my goal is to start cleaning up the old stuff and uncover more beauty and focus on that!
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Wonderful quote and post.
ReplyDeleteI am an alcoholic, and I of course hope that my two young boys make healthy choices when they get into situations where there are drugs and alcohol around. But everyone gets to where they get. What you say about your son is absolutely true. The wanting to get well and to recover has to come from within. Nothing else. No frothy emotional appeals will work, not matter who it comes from and how much they love you. I am sure I broke my family's collective heart a million times. But when I got into enough pain and suffering and despair...then I was ready. When I was *done*, I was *done*. I still needed support and help, but I had the willingness. I hope you son has the willingness and is done for good and for all. It's such an important place to be before we recover and start seeing life in a different perspective and have a design for living that we never had before.
Detachment with love - that is what you're doing, and that is what is needed. We care *about* the addict / alcoholic, but we don't care *for* them.
Wonderful post and I really enjoy what else you've written here and your tweets.
Blessings,
Paul
Thank you for taking the time to comment with such personal feedback, it means so much. This journey in recovery is certainly made easier when we realize that we are not alone.
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