My daughter said to me this weekend " I can't even imagine what it must be like to be in a family where everything is normal. Imagine Mama what it must be like to have kids who just are normal with two real parents and no crisis and addiction and court, is that normal for someone? "
I think we have started to adjust to our "normal" and that kind of freaks me out a bit. This is not normal! Expecting crisis isn't normal, but what is normal? Everyone has their "stuff".
What I have realized is that I am much stronger that I ever thought possible.
I have realized that we really are powerless over another person's addiction.
I have realized that we can live some kind of normal even when our life is upside down and inside out.
I have realized that I don't need to take blame or feel ashamed of my parenting skills and that this isn't "my fault".
Today, I had a normal day. A day that if you didn't know me, you would never guess how torn I feel inside or how "not normal" my life is, but today was a good day, full of fun and joy. My day might even be envied by some. Interesting how little we all know about our neighbors, friends and family's "normals". How impossible it is to know what people experience day to day. Maybe there is no "normal" after all.
Today's affirmation: I find the joy in the little things that make my life beautiful.
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