The Upside Down~Inside Out

The roller coaster of emotions; of fear and anxiety is enough to make a parent feel like crawling under the covers and never coming out. Why is it that these youth just can't see the number of people who care about them and are reaching out to try to help them? When they get to the point where help is offered and help is offered and they still kick their heels, do you actually give up? What about when you honestly feel that your child's rock bottom could be....death. When you really believe in your heart that if you make that final move of saying "I cannot and will not accept your addiction and these behaviors any longer" means that could help them hit their bottom and you believe with all your being that rock bottom could be six feet under, then what? What parent can honestly say "Ok I can't take this heart ache any longer, I am ready to bury my child"? 

It is all the What if's....What if they don't make it? What if they really do die? What if that move helps them to reach out for help? What if? I have never been a gambler and I just cannot take that risk. What I am doing is not working. What everyone around him is doing is not working. I guess this is when we say "ok it is up to you, there is nothing we can do, you need to decide for yourself and be prepared to suffer the consequences", then I guess it is time to say I love you and believe in you and know you are worthy of more than this, I will be here to help you when you are ready. That's it. There is no more than that. 

Today is a low day on my roller coaster. Some days, I just want off. 

 Affirmation for today: I believe that my son has what he needs to overcome his addiction.I believe that day will come.