Mixed emotions

So, it has been done. The deed that I most dreaded and at the same time, was most hopeful for, my son has not been allowed to return home and we helped get him set up in a rented room if his own. The emotion that best describes what we are going through right now: paralyzing fear!

Is my 17 year old son, who has a serious addiction to drugs and alcohol and a history of criminal behavior ready to live on his own? Absolutely not! Did we have any other choice at this time? Sure we did, we could have allowed him to walk out the door of the group home and back out onto the streets. Is he any better off right now? I have no idea. 

Now as I sit and wonder who is looking out for my child? Who is watching to see if he is eating? What time, or if, he comes home? If he is happy, healthy, safe?  He is independant, I am more than a bit lost. 

So how will I get through another difficult hurdle? I am going to have to trust in my higher power on this one, I am going to have to exercise faith like never before and keep hoping that he will make it. Positive thoughts and prayers, lots of them. 

Photo credit: recovery and hope Facebook page, as always, a big thank you!