The pain of change

I received a phone call from my daughter in treatment last night. For a fifteen year old girl, she shows so much maturity in treatment, and in her attitude towards deciding she wants a better life. Treatment in a drug rehab is very hard work. Last night's conversation really pulled on my heart strings. She is scared. Scared of the changes she feels happening, and in some way, fighting this change at the moment. She fears for the loss of her friends and the knowledge that most of her friends will need to change. As she learns what healthy relationships look like, she is discovering that most of her friends would not be considered a "healthy relationship". She knows that coming back and having to find a "new place" in the world will be very challenging. She is 15. She knows she needs friends. She knows she has years of parties and social activities left before she finishes school. How frightening it must be. For a recovered addict finding their place in the world can be very challenging, it usually means changing EVERYTHING. Imagine someone saying to you " it's all going to be ok, you just have to find new activities, new interests, a new relationship with your family and new friends, oh and not to mention, you need to change the very way you think and act, new coping strategies and stay away from any high risk situation, or at least be fully prepared in case you encounter one." This has to feel very challenging, to be at the spot in treatment where you recognize how unhealthy your life has been. When you realize that in order to pursue a healthy, happy future, you must change EVERYTHING!

My advice was; take one step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Remember not to jump too far ahead in your thinking, work on today. Find something that makes you feel happy today, focus on that.