Drawing the line

Oh.... I have had so very much experience with this, unfortunately. As a parent of an addict we are often faced with "opportunities" to draw the line, or worse than that- get the law involved. As a mother, how do we decide to call the police on our own flesh and blood? How are we even expected to ever do this? Well, I have been faced with this decision many times. Actually, I have lost count as to how many times I have had to involve the law:( 

At first, honestly, it was a desperate plea for help, I was sure that the law would help me force my child to get help. It took me awhile to figure out that the law doesn't really help us, in this situation. I should say that I was fortunate enough to have a judge court order my son to a residential rehab but....I have come to learn, that we cannot force our child to get the help we so desperately want them to get and we know they need. When it comes to addiction, getting help has to come from within, only the addict themselves can make that decision. 

After desperately seeking help through the law, I have had to breech my son on his probation many times also. If you have never had to do this, you can't possibly understand how painful this is, please never judge another parent for doing this, or not doing this, it is a very personal decision that is situational and we can't possibly know what is right or what is wrong, at times we are just desperate for some sort of control. I have realized through all that I have been through that the law and the courts aren't really going to help me to get my on the help he needs. My son has often blamed things on my involvement, I don't take on that guilt (most of the time) because he is the one who has done wrong, he is the one who has to suffer the consequences to his actions. All I did was refuse to continue to be a victim. 

 So now my question is: How far do we let them go? When do we get the law involved, when do we turn a blind eye? What, if anything, will get them to realize the consequence of their actions? 

 My new approach, at this point, is to back off. Having my son not living in my home at this time really helps me to distance myself from his behavior. He will suffer the consequences of his actions without my involvement, this puts the responsibility on him, he can't blame things on me anymore. 

 My affirmation today:(Thanks Louise Hay!) "I cannot change another person. I let others be who they are, and I simply love who I am."