Back to the future

Interesting and thought provoking....I was reading a post by Taraleigh of The virtual love fest, talking about time travel. It really started me thinking about my life today. In her post she talked about traveling back in time to January of 2000. Wow, 13 years ago. My oldest would be 4, daughter 2 and youngest not even here yet. Knowing all that I know now, having travelled the journey that I have travelled, would there be things I would change? What, if anything would I do different? 

If I chose not to enter into a relationship around 2002 my  youngest son wouldn't be here, I would never change that, even though that relationship turned out to be painful and complicated. 

If I tried making changes to my oldest's son, changing the things that I feel may have contributed to his addiction, what else would that change about him, about me? About all of us? If it weren't for his addiction and all this crises would I be on the mission I am on and hoping to change the world and recovery for youth with addictions? 

Would I enter a relationship with my husband knowing the tormented road we would travel with my sons addiction or choose to travel this road alone? I would have missed out in my fairy tale wedding in 2011 and all the amazing parts of being married to my soul mate, my Prince Charming. 

When I look back, if I knew what I know now, I would certainly want to try to save my son as much pain as I could, how could I do that? I'm not even really sure. Who knows what else that would change. 

I guess I realize that I am on this journey because this IS my journey. I'm not really sure I would want to re-live some of the pain but that pain has made me passionate about helping others. I guess I still believe that all the suffering my son and my family has experienced is for our greater good, in some strange way. 

My affirmation for today:

I am grateful for all of my experiences that have led me to be the person I am today.